


25 days of christmas Homestuck style

by MyLife



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Christmas, Christmasstuck, Holidaystuck, M/M, countdown to christmas
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-12-13
Updated: 2013-12-16
Packaged: 2018-01-04 13:07:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1081375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyLife/pseuds/MyLife
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Karkat HATES Christmas. I mean ugly sweater, freezing weather... what's not to hate? </p><p>Lets see what John can do about that...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me.... An earful on why he HATES christmas.

**Author's Note:**

> Second fanfic... I'm gonna try to catch up in time tot Christmas... no promises though. Sorry most chapters are so short and probably FULL of grammar/ spelling errors... oh wells ;]

John burst through the door of Karkat's bedroom, smiling wider than normal. "Karkat! What are you doing still sleeping?"

Karkat picks up his pillow and shoves his head under it trying to block out the annoying noise that was John.

"Uh. Why the fuck have you woken me up at this ungodly hour?"

John laughs and pulls the pillow off Karkat's head. "Its the first day of December, stupid! We're supposed to be decorating, or shopping, or drinking cocoa by a fire!"

"Oh Gog. Please tell me your not one of those Christmas loving g freaks." Karkat moans as he blearily tries to reclaim his pillow.

"Wait, do you NOT like it or something?" John asked stupified.

"Oh course not you dumbfuck! I absolutely despise this strange human custom that seems to have been invented for the sole purpose of giving me mind splintering headaches all month long! Why can't you all just get a clue that SOME PEOPLE would rather sleep till noon than go screaching door to door while wearing ridiculously oversized ugly sweaters, or waiting up all night for a fat pedofile that watches me year round to slip through my nonexistant chimney and put crappy presents under the fire hazard of a tree that's just ASKING to get burned to a crisp?!?!"

Karkat rips the pillow from Johns hands and shoves it back over his head, before hiding under his blanket.

John walks out of the room in complete and utter shock. How could anyone not like Christmas? 

Then a mischievous smile broke out on his face right then as a plan formed in his mind. One way or another he was going to MAKE Karkat love Christmas.


	2. On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me... an awesome breakfast and a shopping spree.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John makes Karkat breakfast... but its full of DECEIT!!!! MWAHAHAHA

Karkat slowly woke up despite the deep tiredness crushing his bones. He couldn't help it though. A wonderful smell was wafting from under his door and he knew it must be one of John's delicious homemade breakfasts, no doubt with a side of a very large very hot cup of coffee.

He pulled himself out of bed and practically runs into the door. It was WAY too early for him to be out of bed, let alone thinking about how to use a doorknob, but the dumbass he lived with had decided to cook early this morning for some strange reason.

Finally he stumbled into the kitchen and practically collapsed onto the dinner table.

"Mrhhmm..." he mumbled incoherently into his arm.

As always though, John knew exactly what his roommate was trying to ask.

"French toast, with scrambled eggs and bacon." He called back.

Karkat picked his head up just long enough to realize that a pot of coffee and a mug was sitting on the table in front of him. He quickly poured a glass and nursed it until he could finally open his eyelids.

"What's the occasion?" Karkat slurred as his eyelids threatened to close once again.

John set down a plate overflowing with food in front of his sleepy friend. Karkat immediately perks up and begins to dig in.

"I decided that for every day you agree do do something Christmassy with me I'd make you breakfast." John beamed.

"But I didn't agree to go-" Karkat realizes his mistake too late. Half of the food is already downed.

John flashes a wicked grin. "Now you HAVE to come with me today, since you owe me."

"You sneaky little fuck. If it wasn't so Gogdamn early I would strangle you." Karkat says setting his fork down, no longer hungry for this deceitful breakfast.

≈♥≠

"Where the in the name if fuck are we going?" Karkat asks for what must be the hundredth time.

It's two hours later and the pair find themselves truding through the cold, early morning streets of Seattle. 

"I told you to calm down and wait till we get there. Its a surprise!"

Karkat sighs dramatically and continues marching after John to God knows where.

Finally they reach their destination. A small building Karkat had never noticed before even though he had been down this street a million times. It was covered in Christmas lights of all kinds and had a large inflatable Santa on the sidewalk out front, becoming people inside.

"Here we are!" John announced proudly as he stopped in front of the door.

"Where the fuck is 'here'?"

Instead of answering John pulls open the the candy cane floored door and walks inside. Karkat has not choice but to follow.

Inside was even worse than outside. Lights hung from every which way, inflatables and lawn decorations were placed strategically so that nativity scenes and small Christmas villages could littler about on tables in between. Any spot left empty was filled with ornaments that ranged from Charlie Brown to sex themed. No spot was safe from the red and green onslaught that was Christmas.

John motioned around the store with bravado and said. "Welcome to Saint Nick Knack's Workshop."

≈♥≠

An hour later Karkat finally coaxed John out of the store with 'only' six bags full of decorations. 

"What the hell do we need all this shit for?" Karkat says struggling against one of the particularly heavier bags.

"It's Christmas! Who doesn't have decorations for Christmas?"

"Anyone with a shred of common sense or fucking dignity, that's who!" Karkat exclaimed.

"Come on, lets hurry up and get home so we can put these up, Scrooge." John said with a playful smile.

Karkat frowned at John. "That wasn't part of the deal. You said I had to do 'something' Christmas related with you. I count fucking around in a stupid ass store for an hour 'something'."

"Oh. I just thought-"

"Thought what?" Karkat interrupted him. "That I would be all giddy for this shitty human holiday after just one day of shopping? That I would run around in a sweater ugly enough to kill Kanaya and bake cookies for the whole neighborhood? I don't think so. I'm going home and taking a nap."

"That's, ok too I guess." John says looking downcast.

With that Karkat stormed past John towards their house not even giving the depressed boy a second glance.


	3. On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me... nothing?!?!?!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karkat refuses breakfast. Then learns its a package deal...

Karkat woke once again to the smell of breakfast at the butt-crack of dawn. This time though he ignored it. No matter how good that freshly baked apple pie smelled, he swore he wouldn't fall for THAT trick again.

Instead he rolled over and stuck his nose into his pillow to block the smell. Soon enough he was drifting back to sleep.

Suddenly the door swung open. "Karkat! Breakfast is ready!"

Karkat mumbled something undissernable into the pillow before promptly flipping his friend off. John took this as his que to leave.

"Ok I get it. No Christmas, no breakfast, just sleep. Whatever Karkat." John rolled his eyes and walked out and began to eat the delicious pie by himself.

≈♥≠

Karkat woke for the second time at a much more reasonable hour, 12:45. With a yawn he decided to get up and satisfy his grumbling stomach with whatever John had prepared for lunch that day.

After slipping into an outfit that he was relatively sure was clean, Karkat walked into the living room. 

"Hey John? What's for lunch?" Karkat said with a yawn while stretching his arm out behind his head.

After a considerable silence Karkat tried again. "Hey John! Where the fuck are you?"

Again no reply.

With a huff Karkat stomped into the kitchen to find the idiot. Only... he wasn't there. Instead a note hung from the picture covered fridge.

'Kk,

Left to hang with Dave since your being a Grinch. I locked the fridge and took all your money. And yes the pue is is the fridge too.H ave fun trying to to find any food. Maybe tomorrow you'll want to help with decorating. ;B

≈John.'

"FUCK!" Karkat exclaimed, ripping the note off the fridge. Beneath it he found a thick padlock. John was definatley taking this Christmas thing WAY too seriously.

Karkat pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and texted Terezi.

'  
CG: CAN I COME OVER?

GC: Why did Mr blu3b3rry st34l 4ll your food?

CG: WHAT THE FUCK? YOU KNEW ABOUT THIS?!?!

GC: Y3s >:]

CG: OH GOG. HE TOLD EVERYONE DIDNT HE?

GC: Yup. H3 m4d3 3v3ryon3 promis3 not to f33d you 4ll day. >:] MW4H4H4H4...  
'

Karkat slipped his phone back into his pocket with a sigh. Oh well his bad could one day without food be?


	4. On the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me... What the hell is this?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karkat got breakfast... now he must return the tabor.

Karkat was awake when John walked into the small apartment at 2:30 am. He was wearing an ugly red sweater that he hadn't been wearing that morning, and was carrying a big plastic bag in his arms.

"Where the flying fuck have you been?!?! Here I am starving all day while your off buying shitty swearers with your Morail!" Karkat exclaimed eyes huge with hunger.

"Actually Rose knitted this sweater-" John starts.

"-Which explains why its so shitty."

"-And secondly your the one who refused food." John finishes as he sets the bag down.

"I most definateley did not! I turned down breakfast so I wouldn't have to put up with Christmas all day!" Karkat screams jumping out if his chair at the kitchen table.

"Well I must have forgotten to mention that the other meals were included in that." John says with a slight smirk.

"No shit Sherlock!" He reacts on instinct. Then he realizes that John has all the power in this situation and slowly sits back down in his chair, and rests his head in his hands. "Can you please just open the fridge?"

"Wow you must be desperate, I've never heard you say please." John says, grin widening. 

"Shut the fuck up John." Karkat says. "Maybe I just won't eat, and you can enjoy Christmas without me." 

At just that moment Karkat's stomach decided to give its opinion on the conversation by growling very loudly. 

John breaks into hysterical laughter, unable to contain it any longer. 

When he finally is able to speak again he gives Karkat a knowing grin. "Promise to help decorate?"

"For the love of fuck John! I would do just about anything if it meant you opening that fridge right now!" 

With another round of laughter John pulled a key out of his pocket and popped the lock off the fridge. He reached inside and grabbed the large, Karkat sized piece of pie off the top shelf that had been waiting all day. John slid it overtime where his friend is sitting.

"You might want to warm it in the-" John stopped realizing that Karkat didn't care if the pie was cold. He was already digging into it like a starving dog into a steak.

John laughed again and began pulling out what he would need for breakfast in a few hours.

"When your done with that go ahead onto bed. I'll wake you in time for breakfast. And this time try to resist the urge to flip me off again." 

Karkat nodded in agreement, throwing his plate, already licked clean, into the sink, and heading for his bedroom. 

≈♥≠

Sure enough at 8:00 that morning John barged into Karkat's room, bright eyed as ever.

"Breakfast!" He called at the half conscious boy under the covers.

Karkat dragged his blanket with him into the dining room and sat down at the table, pouring himself a large cup of much needed coffee.

John set a huge plate of pancakes in front if his tired, starving friend. Of course that wasn't enough for him though.

"Syrup...?" Karkat asked, his eyelids still dropping.

John rolls his eyes. For someone supposedly 'starving' he could be awfully picky. All the same he grabbed the syrup from the fridge and set it by his friend while he went to make up his own plate.

≈♥≠

An hour later later Karkat round himself staring at bags and boxes John pulled out of random cupboards and closets. Each box was nicely labeled telling its contents. They ranged from 'garland' to 'bells' to 'figurines' but each had ridiculous Christmas colored contents.

"All of this?!?!" Karkat asked in disbelief.

"Yep." John replied smirking. "We're putting ALL of it up. "

Karkat sighs with frustration, before opening the box nearest to him. 'Garland'. Inside is a long gold and red strand of thick shiny scratchy string.

"What the hell is this? A fucking scarf?" He asks pulling the seemingly endless strand out of the box.

"No silly! You hang it around the house, or on the Christmas tree!" John informs you. "Here I'll show you!"

He helps pull the rest out of the box and you move towards a door to hang it around.

Before long though, you manage to get yourself wrapped up in the snakelike decoration. John laughs and tries to help you out, only resulting in further damage.

You fall on the floor trying to pull it off. "Shut your fucking mouth Egbert!" You yell at a still laughing John. "This thing's like a fucking boa constricter!"

Eventually you manage to free yourself and you notice Johns still laughing. You grab the garland and run at him, pinning him to the ground, before you start wrapping HIM in it.

"How do YOU like it fuckass? Not so funny now, huh!" But now your laughing and he's laughing with you. 

You run around the appartment for the rest of the day attacking each other with random decorations. You dont really make much progress on the whole 'decorating' thing, but you do manage to get garland, sparkles, and ribbon everywhere.

At the end of the night you look around the living room sceptically. "It looks like Santa Claus ate one too many cookies and blew up in here."

John only smiles. Well at least one of you likes it...


End file.
